rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
