Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
