NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
