just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
