so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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