You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
