i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize