guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
