omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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