I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
