My room smells like vodka and shame
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
