I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
