I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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