just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
