This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
