you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
