Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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