i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
