is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
