So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
