So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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