Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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