I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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