In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
