Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We have so much sex to catch up on
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
