Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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