it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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