Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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