No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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