ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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