Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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