the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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