is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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