I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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