You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
