I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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