Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
