it's like iHOP with fire
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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