i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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