if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
