Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
