So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A bitchslap is in order.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
