My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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