I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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