I smell stomach acid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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