Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
