What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
