You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
