He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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