She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
