my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
there is puke in my bra ... again
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
